Teen Dating Violence
Dating violence (or relationship abuse) is a pattern of over-controlling behavior that someone uses against a girlfriend or boyfriend. Dating violence can take many forms, including mental/emotional abuse, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. It can occur in both casual dating situations and serious, long-tem relationships.
Dating abuse can have serious consequences! The effects range from missing a few classes to attempting suicide. Abuse also affects future relationships. All consequences make compelling reasons to prevent abuse before it starts, or to speak out against it.
CCADV created an APP called td411 to bring awareness about teen dating violence and electronic victimization. It is avialable on iTunes and the Android Market Place under "td411". The website that goes along with the App can be found at http://www.td411.org and you can also download the APP there as well.
If you need help call 888-774-2900 or loveisrespect.org.
How is teen dating violence different from adult domestic violence?
There are several things that make teenage dating violence different from adult domestic violence. Usually, when a teen is abused, she becomes isolated from her peers because of the controlling behavior of her abusive partner.
The isolation teens face in abusive dating situations often makes it hard to:
- develop new and mature relationships with peers of both sexes.
- feel emotionally independent.
- develop personal values and beliefs.
- stay focused on school and get good grades.
Teen dating violence can also cause problems in the long run:
- Depression
- Suicide attempts
- Eating disorders
- Drug and alcohol abuse
- Medical problems
- Inability to succeed in school or at work later in life
Are you a victim of dating violence?
Answer the questions below. If you answer yes to two or more of them, you are probably in an abusive relationship, or your relationship is likely to become abusive. Abuse isn't just hitting. It's yelling, threatening, name-calling, saying things like, "I'll kill myself if you leave me," obsessive phone calling, and extreme possessiveness.
Are you going out with someone who ...
- is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
- tries to control you by being bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
- puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him?
- scares you?
- makes you worry about his reactions to things you say or do?
- threatens you?
- uses or owns guns or other weapons?
- is violent?
- has a history of fighting, loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others?
- grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
- pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex?
- gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you
to take them?
- has a history of failed relationships, and blames the other person for all the problems?
- makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
- makes you feel like you need to apologize to yourself or others for your boyfriend's behavior when he treats you badly?
Adapted from: "In Love and in Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships," (c) 1998 by Barrie Levy.
Impact on Teens
Domestic violence affects every member of the family, including the children and teens. Domestic affects children and teens both directly and indirectly. They live in homes where they witness and experience domestic violence, threatening their safety and sense of security. Family violence creates a home environment where children live in constant fear. Children and teens that witness family violence are affected in ways similar to those who are physically abused. Children and teens are at greater risk for abuse and neglect if they live in a violent home.
Each year, thousands of American children and teens witness violence in their homes. Witnessing violence is a risk factor for long-term physical and mental health problems, substance abuse, and the possibility of becoming a victim or perpetrator of violence. They see or hear more than we are aware and children often express their emotions with actions. The following are a list of reactions and emotions that children from violent homes are likely to experience:
- Feeling responsible for the abuse
- Constant anxiety
- Guilt for not stopping the abuse
- Grief over the loss of a parent
- Fear of abandonment
- Need for attention