A Message from the CT Domestic Violence Offender Standards Advisory Council
Tuesday, April 28, 2020
Change is possible but it may not be easy. Under significant stress, we may act in ways that are blaming, controlling, and, possibly abusive. Although it may not feel like it in the moment, these behaviors are choices. Therefore, we can choose to act in ways that are supportive and kind.
Maintaining healthy relationships under the best of circumstances is difficult. It takes a strong and resilient person to choose to act calmly and compassionately under stress.
Under stress, people/partners/parents are more likely to:
- Blame their partner
- Use abusive language
- Control others
- Behave in ways that are frightening or threatening to others
- Use harsh punishment with children
- Become frustrated and angry more easily
- Feel alone, unsupported and isolated
- Express their feelings in unhealthy or harmful ways
- Rely on negative coping strategies such as increased use alcohol or other drugs
These behaviors are choices. Therefore, you have the power to change these behaviors. It takes courage and strength to change harmful, hurtful, and negative behaviors. It takes a strong person to reach-out for help and support.
For help and support contact:
1. A qualified counselor or therapist
2. www.ctsafeconnect.org for information about domestic violence services
3. For information about the state’s approved domestic violence offender treatment providers go to: http://www.ctcadv.org/domestic-violence-offender-program-standards
In a time of crisis, we need to support each other, ask for help, and, most importantly, treat each other with respect and kindness.
